I am a 30 something, married, mother of two young beautiful children.
I am striving to live a beautiful life …
I am passionate. I am curious. I am a survivor. I am a Christian. I suffer from Fibromyalgia. It seems I developed Fibromyalgia about 4 and a half years ago, most likely as a result of a very difficult pregnancy. I also battle PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety.
I am a dreamer, and for this I believe I pay a high price, as it is both a blessing and a curse. I am a romantic. I often feel completely stifled in the current environment I am in, but yet there is still beauty here. I am a pro when it comes to making “mistakes”, but it is from those that I believe I am given great opportunity to learn.
As I am on a journey of healing and learning how to really live this life of mine, my hope is that someone somewhere might find hope within my words and experiences. I hope that if nothing else, whatever content goes into this blog, someone else can find something to relate to, maybe a piece of information that will help them, or possibly a spark of inspiration will somehow ignite. These are the same things I am looking for, within myself, and in the writing I do here.
03/23/2009 at 4:09 am
Amy, thx for stopping by Twitter to say hello and tell me about your blog. I love it, plus your wonderful attitude is so inspiring. I’m sure you will be a blessing to many people. Let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you in your personal efforts to get well.
) Cinda Crawford, host of the Health Matters Show. (PS- be sure to check out Friday’s show at http://www.healthmattersshow.com/2009/03/cinda_crawford_interviews_vivi.html#more Keep in touch!
03/24/2009 at 5:28 pm
I love your site. Keep it up !
04/04/2009 at 6:31 am
Very nice to meet you. I enjoyed your site. God bless you.
04/09/2009 at 5:32 am
This could of been me writing this entry in your blog. Remember that we live in this moment. This one right now. This is the only one that counts not yesterday not tomorrow. God said not to worry about yesterday because it is gone like the dust blows in the wind. Tomorrow is promised to no one. So all we have to do is get thru right NOW. You can do this. I joined twitter a year ago and did nothing with it. I came back to twitter almost a year to the day, because a friend suggested it. I had forgotten about it honestly. I mention this only because I am at the same point you are. I beleive I was directed back to learn and to gain wisdom and knowledge, not just to pass the time away.
I could have written this it describes me so well. The pain, the longing for the beautiful life I know God wants me to have. Being tired of the pain. The meds I take for the pain. The helplessness the hopelessness. The frutility of it all, was smacking me in the face. Constantly.
I know that it is changing that GOd wants more for me, for you for all of us. If we would just see it and accept it.
When we know that we are not alone, that someone else is dealing with similar issues, that u arent losing ur mind… that helps.
Im rambling… but the thing to rememeber always is that “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” and my favorite reminder… THIS TOO, SHALL PASS. Remember to live in the NOW. It is all we really have. ABd focus on the positive. You really do attract what you think. It takes a while and some effort but you.
know it works. As you think is as you are.
I look forward to reading your blog more often, dont give up, keep on it is getting better every second of every day, Believe it and hold on to that promise.
04/09/2009 at 6:07 am
Dear Rose,
Thank you for sharing, for being real and transparent. Thank you for the reminders that I am not alone and that it is through Christ that I get my strength, and that “This too shall pass”. They are often moments, intense ones, that just disturb the balance of all things in our life, but combined with tough circumstances, we are shaken a bit too hard.
You sure are right, God wants to mold us, change us, help us to be closer to what He designed for us to be! It is in the process of changing where we get most frustrated. And it is in those moments where we are wondering how to make the changes!
A neat twitter story for you, you are certainly spreading positivity around twitter and that means putting it in people’s minds and hearts. A blessing to others you are and as we try to help others we are gaining knowledge that often forces us to examine painful parts of our hearts and soul. Ugh!
Dear Rose, I am blessed to know you. I will keep on, and as someone special recently told me, I just have to choose to cling to the cross each day, and I will be okay! And also, better is on the way!
04/23/2009 at 6:02 am
Hi,
I love your spirit, the spirit that pushes to sustain inspite of the pain.
One of your post asked…where do I begin…
I am 43 and I truely begin about 10 years ago following my hesterectomy in 1999.
When I begin to accept a change in my life..the change that that whispered in my thoughts when I prayed a night weeks before my operation.
All I feel was the love that my heart held my 5 beautiful children. Wondering if I did not survive this operation, if my cancer had reached any place other than my uterus. You see all the times that I tried to kill myself…what I was feeling than,proved to me that I don’t want to leave my children I just wanted to leave the hurt and pain.
Those weeks I didn’t feel the lost of not having a man that truly loved me…particulary my dad…No. I thought about my life what I mean to my family. Still I had no ideal that my journey was in full spin.
Where to begin…starts always with you. Your brother suggesting the “Breakthrought” seminar is just what you need. Self enlightenment is key to self acceptance and self love.
I am not ashame to say it took me until nearly age 33 before I discovered how to love me. Before I was able to reconize parts of myself that I had given up as a child. I had to embrace those parts of myself and allow them permission to serve me (to balance me into the true person that I was) For so many years I walked through life only partially alive, yes a incomplete person. Totally unaware that I disowned the partS of myself that was begging to breath again. Begging for acknowledgement, starving for acceptance. They were always there only I ignored them.They came in the form of depression, cancer, and finally fibromyalgia. Now, my transformation swung into full swing after my operation to remove my cancerous uterus. Still, at that point FM was the next phase in my transformational journey…the phase that’s taught me how to listen to my body, and respect its limitations.
This phase is preparing me to live my purpose. My time is a phrase that started with me when I first begin to realize that I need to get to know me..why I hurtted so badly, why I did the repeated things that I did. And as I begin to mend broken and distached missing pieces of myself back together 2 heal- completed the title. My Time 2 Heal.
Where do you begin….by declaring this is … My Time 2 Heal. Give your brother a BIG KISS and a hug from me and tell him thank you for suggesting exactly what you need to begin your healing process.
In the meantime and from now on please include, time for yourself…soak in the tub and read a good self help book.
Know this…your breakthrough MAYBE painful at first…just as caring for a wound with oilment brings about a sting, so to does healing your deep wounds that need mending. In any healing stage we must cleanse the area and allow it to breath. Uncovering, removing all bandages and biting our bottom lip in order to endure the sting.
Keep writing and sharing for that is a great source of healing.
Much Love
Sylvia
04/29/2009 at 7:21 am
Hey Amy,
I caught your interview with Tony.
What can I say?
(What can I say)
from my heart all the best,
Mark
05/10/2009 at 1:13 pm
I share many of your feelings and I am trying to help others too. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. I learned this the hard way!
Take Good Care of Yourself!
~Victoria~
*Safe Hugs are great!*
*HUG*
06/12/2009 at 8:28 am
Hi Amy,
I stumbled onto your site after reading about your Overnight Walk in Chicago that’s coming up on the Winning Women’s blog.
Your story really caught my attention because as someone who struggled with depression most of my life I know the thoughts and the amount of energy that it takes sometimes to just get up to face the day. As a Christian I always struggled with where was “the joy in the Lord” for me?
The reason I can talk about my depression in past tense is because someone cared enough about me 15 yrs. ago to share something with me that worked…and it wasn’t medication.
I have spent the rest of my life helping people just like you and me to break free from the darkness…my emotional stability has been an incredible blessing to my family and I am so thankful.
I too live in the Chicago area and if you would ever like to talk, feel free to get in touch.
God bless,
Joyce
06/19/2009 at 4:36 pm
Hi there,
Just had a nice little look through your site. Well done! I too suffer 24/7 with chronic pain but will admit openly that I am not coping well with it…I am still waiting for a miracle that will heal me and allow me to return to the job I loved (nursing) I plan to visit your site often, I love your positive attitude and your spirit…perhaps I can learn to live well with chronic pain too.
Take care,
Jeannette
07/20/2009 at 9:25 pm
Hi Amy
What a pleasure to meet you and I am so honored that you invited me to your beautiful site. I too am in yet another transitional period and I look forward to sharing with you. Just know I am here with you, walking this path and I look forward to your blogs, tweets and friendship.
Blessings and love,
Regina
07/20/2009 at 10:10 pm
Thank you so much for telling your story. I see parts of myself in your writing. I also suffer from depression, restless leg syndrome and fibromyalgia with all its assorted maladies. Thank you for being so open suicide in your life. While I have contemplated suicide in the past, God stepped in and I never attempted it. I have a wonderful man in my life now and am very thankful I am here to experience my life now even with the constant pain.
Thank you for speaking for us. I will remember you in my prayers and send you gently hugs.
Patricia
09/29/2009 at 11:34 am
Thank you for sharing your story, you truly have a lot of company. Amy, if you are open, would love to share stories of how others have truly overcome the pain of Fibromyalgia. As a 73 year old lady, I want to share, not to “sell”, but to make real differences in people’s lives! If you are, send me an email with “Fibromyalgia” as the subject, so I do not miss your email. There will be NO pressure.
Warm Regards,
Lorna
11/25/2009 at 3:24 am
Ciao Bella!
I love your site and your words made me smile. “A Beautiful Life” is one of my favorite movies, have you seen it? I love how you talk about really wanting to LIVE, not just get by or exist. I suffer from depression, my brother has PTSD and my sister has FM. We are the three amigos!
Nice to ‘meet’ you.
Kivlan
01/03/2010 at 4:49 pm
I like your blog and your winning attitude and philosophies. I hope you don’t mind, I’ve added you to my blogroll.
Keep on believing!
Bonnie (bwlight)
http://windshieldthinking.wordpress.com
01/05/2010 at 7:59 pm
Just found your blog through ‘Windshield Thinking’. Have you tried ‘Sometic Experiencing’ for your PTSD. i suffer from that too but it’s going away now thanks to that therapy. You can look it up on line. If you need to feel inspired, go read my latest post “The 3rd question” on www,bluamaryllis.wordpress.com”
All the best!
Maryse
02/15/2010 at 6:58 pm
Hi Amy,
You have a beautiful blog, and I am really enjoying your posts. I have a little something for you over at Chronic Connection, and I’m hoping it will add a little sunshine to your day
(((gentle hugs)))
Nancy
http://gentlehugs.livejournal.com/21039.html