To Be Known

Does it ever occur to you that perhaps a sadness you may feel in life is because of a sense of not being known? I struggle with this. I desperately want for people to see me, to know me and then of course, to accept me just as I am. Truly, that’s an awful lot to ask of people, isn’t it? But how my heart craves to be known!

At work I want people to know my good intentions and my strong desire to do good, to excel and produce the best work that I can. In parenting, I want my children to know my love for them and feel it fully. In friendship I want for my dear friends to know my wishes and dreams and the amount of love, care and concern I have for them. There are so many ways I want to be known. I want to be seen and known for my heart, not for my errors or mistakes, not for the foolish thing that may have slipped out of my mouth, and not for the silly questions I may have asked or times when I am obviously seeking approval. I want to be known for the goodness that I am.

This world seems so full of judgment. “You aren’t enough of this, Amy. You aren’t doing good enough at that. Perhaps you should be more like so and so, or maybe if you got better at “X,Y or Z” you would be okay. Maybe then we could tolerate the you we know, the you we think we know…”

Sometimes it feels like if people truly knew me then they would treat me differently, if they knew how much I care, if they knew how much I love to be a part of something important and that my goal is to be a light in the world and to all people, but to also be a helper and a leader… and sometimes I just wonder if they would be kinder if they knew how squashed I sometimes feel inside. Because really, if we are honest, don’t we all feel squashed sometimes?

As a person living with  chronic health challenges, I want people to know my pain and what I am dealing/coping with. I get the sense that if only they knew what it was like, then maybe they would get me and maybe the relationship would be better or they would have compassion or just simply understand what I am dealing with.  But again, that’s asking a lot of people. (And believe me, this goes both ways, I also want to know you and them.)

So here’s one conclusion: they don’t know me. And as much as I want to be known, even if I shared it all, they may still not like what they know. Most of the time, they don’t care to know me because they too are busy feeling squashed or frustrated because they are misunderstood or unknown. Or maybe they are just too busy not thinking about how important it is that other people need to be known. Yet, I think it would serve us all well in this world if we took time to try to know each other better.

So I crave to be known, deeply. I yearn to feel known because when I feel really known I feel safe and no longer alone. I am incredibly blessed to say that for the first time in my life I feel known and understood in a new way with a new love in my life who is treasured by me and I by him beyond any comparison. And most importantly, I realize, with more awareness than ever before, that there is one who always has and always will know me. He knows my heart. He knows my desires. He knows my failings and he knows my strengths. And He loves me, just like He loves you. He is God and He is the reason that I can go to sleep at night worried a lot less about those who don’t seem to know me or even want to know me.  For as long as God knows me, I am not alone. I am known.

8 Comments

Filed under Blogging, chronic pain, depression, fibromyalgia, Inspirational, ramblings

8 responses to “To Be Known

  1. Lance Cleaver

    Amy, those are powerful words. I believe that this post was inspired by the Holy Spirit. You are a woman of light who has a special gift to share your heart and soul with others. God loves people who are willing to do this to help the broken and the hurting.

    You are known and loved by Him and by me for exactly who you are. This is your calling Amy. You are a special woman that God will use in powerful ways.

    You were beautifully and wonderfully made. I am humbled and so grateful that you inspire me and love me too.

    I love you with all my heart, mind, body and soul. I can’t wait to go on amazing adventures with you serving God and helping the hurting.

    Keep it up. We all need to be inspired by you.

    Love,

    Lance

  2. Reblogged this on D is for Disabled and commented:
    Couldn’t have said it better myself.

  3. It occurs to me quite frequently. If only I could give my shoes to certain people to have them walk a mile or two, to have their minds be filled with things like, “Wait, I can’t wear this shirt, my fingers are too numb to button the buttons.” And to have it never end. And to call it a productive day when all you’ve managed to do is make the bed and put your contacts in.

    But to be not known, and the sorrow that comes from that, I never really thought of it that way. There is definitely a loneliness to living a life that most people can’t, and sometimes don’t try, to understand.

  4. Rosy Silvania

    Just was getting ready to email you about the Bible study that I am doing BECAUSE of you!!!!! The Bible Study is based on the book A Confident Heart…….and the scripture I was just getting ready to send you……Jeremiah 17:7 But Blessed are those that trust in The Lord and have made The Lord their hope and confidence. ……I love you my precious daughter…..

  5. you and i want to be known in so many of the same ways. Im so glad you wrote this!!!

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