3 1/2 short years ago began my journey into health activism. I fell into it. I wandered into it by accident and happily. It wasn’t happiness that brought me there, but so happy I was when I realized I had a voice to share. So happy I was to learn that people wanted to hear my voice!
Now, it feels that my voice is just a whisper in a big crowd and I am sad about that. It’s no one’s fault but my own and just the way life sometimes has it’s way with us.
About a year and a half ago my life began to turn inside out. I went through separation and divorce and I was thrust into the world of the working woman with two children to provide for. My activities online came to an almost sudden and screeching halt. My work for causes I feel so passionate about had to take the backseat as I just did not have enough time in my day for this new world of working outside the home 40+ hours/week and all that comes with single parenthood.
Now, I am here again… trying to inch my way back into this world where all of my passions are the same but not much else.
I get this sense of being lost in the crowd and as if perhaps my time has passed? But the truth is, I think it’s just about turning up the volume and being present again.
This month, the wonderful people at WEGO Health have a theme of Tough Stuff. They are working with health activists to put the tough topics on the table and working to inspire them to dig deep and talk about the nitty gritty. I have submitted a post to them on a sensitive subject matter but of course, my wheels have been turning about other tough topics, too. And this is one right here:
I feel like I lost my reputation and voice as a health activist and I have to earn it back again… and that just really sucks. I worked really hard for that voice and to have to rebuild it, again… it sucks big stinky cheese.
I see these people winning awards online and being recognized for their work and that is awesome because everything they are doing is amazing! But, I feel sad, like an outsider (in the community I think I helped to build) or a player sitting on the bench during the big game. I am still a part of the team, right? Can I come back to the team (please)?
These are those thoughts and feelings that just creep up and I suck up and swallow down, because it’s no one’s fault but my own and life’s circumstances. This is tough stuff because sometimes life causes the death of a health activist, even if they didn’t want to die.
So maybe it’s time to be reborn?